My Experience with hallucinations and schizophrenia-like-symptoms

I have been experiencing the schizophrenia-like-symptoms for the last 4-5 years While I was in Pune, these symptoms, including hallucinations, became more intense. And then struggle for survival of the fittest started which was transformative that has shaped my perspective on life, instilled resilience within me, and granted me valuable insights into the complexities of the human mind. From the initial confusion and fear to embracing self-acceptance and finding purpose, my experience has been a remarkable exploration of personal growth and self-discovery.

My encounter with this phenomenon commenced with a tumultuous prelude of confusion and disarray. It all started with hallucinations, where I would see a young child, around 4 to 5 years old, begging for food. These hallucinations triggered strange and intrusive thoughts, distorting my perception of reality and causing intense paranoia. Soon after, I began hearing voices that made it increasingly difficult to differentiate between what was real and what was a creation of my own mind's intricate maze. I struggled to find meaning amidst the relentless chaos within me. I distinctly remember one incident where I reached a point of utter exhaustion and gave up, falling asleep at a bus stop. The battles waged within the depths of my mind were draining, leaving me mentally exhausted and emotionally vulnerable. These experiences would often occur while I was eating or walking on the streets, making even simple choices a challenge. As a result, my physical health, eating patterns, and sleep cycles were impacted. However, I was fortunate to have the support of my friends, professors, and psychiatrist. I diligently followed the prescribed medication, even though it was initially difficult to adjust to its effects. The medication was quite potent and made me feel drowsy. I developed my own strategies to cope with these challenges. I discovered that my academic readings were somehow influencing the auditory and visual hallucinations I experienced. To break this pattern, I began exploring other subjects like history, anthropology, physics, and more. I immersed myself in music and started watching documentaries. Wearing earphones became a helpful tool, as I could control what I listened to and what I blocked out. I can't say for certain if it's mere coincidence or a psychological phenomenon, but having earphones with me has been tremendously beneficial. Furthermore, my psychiatrist suggested that whenever I encountered these hallucinations, I should try writing about them. As a result, I started crafting stories and poems inspired by the things I saw and heard.

With the assistance of medication, various coping strategies, supportive friends, professors, and psychiatrists, I have been able to mitigate the negative impact that visual and auditory hallucinations have on both my mental and physical well-being. Over time, these hallucinations are minimized in intensity, allowing me to better manage and cope with them. As a result, I have gradually regained a sense of control and agency in my life. I have begun engaging in activities that bring me comfort of course without hurting others. Sometimes I behave like a kid sometimes a matured adult. I sometimes dance randomly, sing a song randomly, watch South Indian Hindi Dubbed movies. Now I do read academic books, other reading materials too. Recently, I successfully completed the synopsis for my Ph.D. and am excited to embark on a new chapter in my life. Currently, I find myself in a positive position, content with the progress I have made.

As a result, I developed a strong passion for raising awareness about mental health and debunking the stigma that surrounds it and related issues. Consequently, I felt compelled to share my own story and experiences, despite the fact that many individuals in my social circle are already aware of them. I am aware of several individuals my age who are also grappling with similar problems, yet they are hesitant to seek professional medical assistance. Unfortunately, mental health remains a topic that is not widely discussed, and the public healthcare system does not adequately address these issues, despite the recognition of their importance and the challenges associated with mental illness in the national health policy of 2017. Accessing private medical healthcare for help can be prohibitively expensive. Today is World Schizophrenia Awareness Day. While raising awareness is important, it is equally crucial to prioritize concerted efforts in improving the accessibility of medical facilities for individuals dealing with mental health challenges. I consider myself fortunate to have received free treatment from the Symbiosis Centre for Emotional Wellbeing, and I am immensely grateful to Dr. Girija Mahale for her medical care and guidance and my masters professors, Dr. Shrabani Mukherjee, Dr. Debdulal Thakur, Dr. Dipankar Das, my guide Dr. Brinda Viswanathan and my family.  I am also grateful for the support of my friends Apoorva, Mansi, Abhishek, Parul, Vidhi, Shubhangi, Sharvari, Manash, Ajay, Mathew, Vishaal, Nikita and many others.